Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Good Bye Jan 1st Good Morning Jan 2nd

It's 3am in the morning and I can't sleep. This is much to my dismay most late nights / early mornings. My mind is like the opening data programming screens of any well written software or app. 

I spend countless hours reviewing, and rewinding sometimes in  regret of the choices I made the day, week, month  or even the moment before.

I hunger for success as a plant hungers for water. It keeps me up at night and makes my pen empty from drawing and scratching and scribbling over, over, and over again.

I stay in prayer asking, crying, pleading, with God to grant me access into a space where I stop finding myself guilty of failing  from my missed steps but gleaning from the ones I got right.

I am not perfect nor do I want to be. I know I have everything inside of me to conquer this new hill in this valley of hills and mountains of my life. 

Tonight as I sat with God in prayer crying inside and listening to my playlist a new song came through my headphones .... the lyrics pierced my internal cry and made me begin to cry out loud!

Music is the iambic pentameter of my soul, it is water for my thoughts and fertilizer for my growth.

As the words sifted through my soul I leaped up to see who was this guest liturgical maven … her voice carried my tears down my cheek and caressed my hand and I penned these words from my thoughts. 

The song …. You Say by Lauren Daigle searched me out and I found a space to feel humanity to be honest, to be vulnerable, and to believe. 

This may be the last thing I scribble but at least I didn't let the beauty of the moment live only inside of me. 

Good Night January 1st and Good Morning January 2nd.

The Queen Has Spoken from @ZepsGarden 

#BeFreeBeloveth #GrowthlivesHERE